We often get derailed, confused, or even overwhelmed by situations where the lines seem blurred. We often forget to create boundaries out of fear of how fickle things can be for us as professionals or even in our personal lives. Defining your boundaries can keep people from having unnecessary expectations from you. It acts as a preventative measure so you don’t end up feeling used, manipulated, or taken for granted. So here is a proposition where I will try to convince you how to avoid getting into such a predicament.
Before we share some tips on Healthy boundaries let us define what we mean by the term. These are the parameters you set for yourself so people know what they can and cannot say /expect from you. It gives you the power to decide when to agree to do a favor and when it is time to say “No”.
It is integral to principle yourself and draw a line between your professional and personal life. It will allow you to think about your decisions more carefully before you end up in the middle of a crisis. Once you are clear on the list of things you believe are not consistent with your role, you would be able to make a clear-cut decision for yourself.
Let us be clear on one thing- things are not as black and white as they seem. However, it is essential to take a beat and go over in your mental list and be cautious when agreeing to a favor or a task. It is only possible if you have a preconceived boundary in your head.
The easiest way to know if your limits are being crossed is by tuning into your feelings. Are your feelings positive about this task? Are you questioning if the favor is appropriate? Reflect on how you feel about the bond you share. It will help you put yourself first and prevent you from violating your boundaries. Ask yourself these self-reflective questions so you are sure about what you want to do and that no one can manipulate your decisions.
The next thing you need to do is be direct in your communication. It is often out of fear of coming across rude and impolite that people do not consider setting their boundaries. However, it is essential for building relationships on mutual respect that we are clear in communicating our values and our feelings in a way that leaves no room for further interpretation. If someone fails to understand your limits, then use direct dialogue and be upfront about your feelings. It will keep you away from unwarranted expectations and people know where your boundaries lie.
Do not be afraid to let people know that you have the power. When you feel guilty, you give people power. You allow them to make you regret enforcing your rights. It is the fear of giving the wrong impression that often puts us in a delicate position. Be assertive in your decisions and focus on why you want to say No in the first place. Once you are confident about your decision, you will feel much better about yourself.
Setting boundaries is not an easy task but don’t worry it takes time to master the skill. It takes courage, persistence, and leaving guilt behind. The goal here is not to come to a decision but to ensure that a careful decision-making process is gone through before coming to one. The more consistently you practice it, the higher the chances are for your success. Your feelings are just as important, and you deserve to be valued.